Sex and Drugs

 “Sex and drugs and rock and roll. Are very good indeed”- Ian Dury and The Blockheads

(See Ian Dury’s video at the bottom of this post).

Look, I get soooo many questions on sex and drugs, simply because they seem to go with Rock and Roll. How could Ian Dury and The Blockheads ever be wrong?

Let’s put it simply: do not let sex or drugs get in your way. They are not a goal, but perhaps amusement along the way.

“I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.” – Keith Richards

So, quite honestly, I like sex and drugs.

No, I don’t do illegal drugs but I pass no judgment on others. There do however seem to be some substances that humans do not handle well.

OK, drugs first, sex down below:

Drug preferences: uppers and downers, mainly coffee and alcohol

although I’ve been known to down an energy drink or two.

I agree with Winston Churchill:

“I am easily satisfied by the best” – Winston Churchill

Sometimes I mix uppers and downers: ever heard of an Irish Coffee?

I Love Coffee:

I love and drink a lot of coffee. Freshly ground beans, French Press, recently La Minita Organic High Altitude Costa Rican. I am not a coffee nerd, but I could become one someday.

I drink far less alcohol, but  . . .

Champagne: I drink a lot of it.

I AM a Champagne nerd, and it is a great time for Champagne nerds. Many farmers are now making and bottling their own farmer fizz instead of selling their grapes to the big Champagne Brands. ‘Tis a great time to be a Champagne nerd and try the hundreds of very different bottlings of bubby out there.

Wine: Yup, not just Champagne, but other wines too. Used to have a couple thousand bottles, but divorce and a little help from my friends and ex-wife and we drank it all up merrily!

Cocktails: Most bars and restaurants have shitty overpriced wine lists, certainly in the US (but it’s getting better).  So I’ll usually get a cocktail or beer.

A great craft cocktail can be a thing of beauty. Cocktails, until maybe the 60s, were an art form, like fantastic  cooking.

Comparing a gin n tonic from a local bar when I was 18 to an artisanal cocktail, is like comparing Kraft mac n cheese to a creation by Julia Child. Bartending was once a noble profession, much like being a chef is today.

But the dark ages of cocktails are slowly ending with more places  emphasizing quality and care in construction and mixing. There is a cocktail renaissance going on. Even some of the long forgotten classic cocktails like The Aviation Cocktail have come back, and new scrumptious concoctions are being invented daily.

Currently drinking a scorching dry The Botanist Islay Gin Martini, stirred (you only should shake Vodka Martinis in my opinion), with blue cheese stuffed olives.

Sex: Yes

Apparently married people never have sex. Fortunately I’ve become single.

Like Madonna, Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton, and Woody Allen, I prefer the opposite sex. All things being equal, I like younger as do the aforementioned, but thing are never equal.

And for all the geeks out there who can’t get a date, never mind a girl or boyfriend, let me simply state that developing attraction skills is simpler than learning to play the piano poorly or read hex. It’s a learned skill.

I am a fairly private person, as well as shy, and quite conservative, but my life is fairly outrageous and has long been. So here we go:

Although certainly not promiscuous, rumors are I prefer Boston socialites, babysitters, au pairs, and goats. The rumors are not entirely correct. Other than that, “no comment.”

Discretion is the better part of being discrete. Seriously.

It is true, and unfortunately witnesses exist, but sometimes I throw citrus fruit at attractive women while drinking martinis at security conferences. They seem to like it.
Don’t try this yourself. I warned you!